I hope you're happy.

You had me, then you lost me. Now you have her.

I'm not stupid. I know that you truly still aren't over me. Either that or you truly are just extremely desperate to have a significant other in your life.

These are the feelings that I'll never be able to say to you, nor to anyone else. Because I'm the bigger person. Because nothing is permanent in high school. I'm fucking sixteen. I'm not marrying you when I get out of school. I'm probably not going to marry anyone that I know at this point. You succeeded. You shot a bullet and you hit your target, my heart. I still care about you. I'm over the relationship, but I'm still grieving. I still think of all the good times that we had together, and I severely miss it. This isn't a fucking walk in the park for me. You know that, too. Sad part is, you can't take it like a man and just walk away. The more you linger, the more it hurts for the both of us. I know that both of you are just "dating" to get some sort of twisted payback on me and Maxx. Which is truly beyond pathetic and sad. I'm dating Maxx because I actually like him and care about him. You're jumping after the first girl whose name lights up on your phone. But I still care about you, and I'm scared that you're just going to get hurt. She's a female version of a tool. I guess that "bad karma" shit goes both ways for us. Look, I didn't date Maxx just to be a bitch. I've actually liked him for a while now and I need to try something new. I don't know what the real deal is between you and her, but I just want to pretend it's you fucking with my head. It's a lot easier than accepting that I'm not the subject of your affection anymore. You see, I miss you, I miss the good times I had with you, I miss the "you" I thought you were. But all that's over now and we both need to move on with our lives. I knew for once that I had to be the one to leave, otherwise we'd hurt each other a lot more and a lot longer. I never understood how my exes could just go and disappear and ignore my existence before, but now I realize that they did it so I could move on. We're sixteen, we have our whole lives ahead of us. Who cares what we do now? Nothing. Is. Permanent.

1. I left you because I wasn't sure I still wanted to be with you.

2. I'm not stupid. You can't brainwash me into thinking this is all my fault because I broke up with you.

3. It really bothered me when you tried to make yourself sound cooler than you actually are.

4. I hated how much you had to touch me. All the time. No space whatsoever.

5. You not having very many friends is a huge problem.

6. You need more going on in your life so that you aren't so clingy.

7. Nothing I could have said or done could have made you hit on my cousin.

8. Being with you was way too stressful.

9. You remind me way too much of my mother.

10. You are extremely manipulative.

11. You really need to grow up.

12. I really didn't like your chest hair or happy trail.

13. You tried to make everything that was mine, yours.

14. You don't have a nice body at all. It's just comfy because you're a tad fluffy.

15. I don't need you to be happy.

16. I will never be able to look at you without thinking of Mollie.

17. I'm not really a bitch, you're just upset that I moved on before you did.

18. I'm not even close to dead to you. I know every night you still cry yourself to sleep over me.

19. No matter what you think, you deserved that status on Facebook.

20. You never took me out on any real dates.

21. You never took me dirt biking or any of that fun stuff you promised to do.

22. You did a weird wolf thing where you would sniff me or howl at the moon. Not cute.

23. I never led you on. I told you right from the beginning that I would never be able to get over it and the most we would probably ever be able to be again is friends.

25. You're an asshole for making everyone think that I led you on because you're too cowardly to admit that you ran after my eighth grade cousin after I broke up with you and that's the real reason that I totally put and end to "us."

26. Deleting me off your Facebook friends only prevents you from seeing what I post. Ha. Ha.

27. I hate how you put my friends in the middle of our issues.

28. It honestly really bothered me that my friends didn't like you and were only putting up with you.

29. I don't like how much crap I got about dating you.

30. I'm doing even better without you.

sincerely,

the girl you used to know

I dream of a brand new start. A chance to make a life determined solely by myself.

A chance to see the beauties of life, instead of the horror.

A chance to escape my endless imprisonment of pain.

I feel trapped, betrayed, confused, hurt.